Business-Class Services

December 31, 2015

Our on-site rate for off-contract customers is $99/hr and our on-site rate for on-contract customers is $67/hr past whatever agreed-upon amount of hours was specified in the contract.

Table of Contents

Business-Class Communication systems

Reliable phone service with enterprise solutions.
Starting at just $29.99 per month.

Managed Service

1 DID (Phone Number)
Three Numbers for the Lawmakers under the sky,
Seven for the Managers in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal IT professionals doomed to die,
One for the Business Owner on their dark throne
In the Land of Office where the Dust Bunnies lie.
One Number to rule them all, One Number to find them,
One Number to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Office where the Dust Bunnies lie.

Seriously, though, one number.
2 Simultaneous Inbound Calls
One phone to each ear? We’re not one to judge.
5 Simultaneous Outbound Calls
Nobody has five ears. You may find this useful if you have more than one employee, though.
We like to call it voiceemail.
Facsimilemail! Faxes show up in your inbox as images.
Call recording and downloading
Experience the joy of being on the phone without actually being on the phone! Or use it to train your employees. It’s whatever.
Capable user portal
Now you’re thinking with portals! Ours lets you get recordings, timestamps, and loads of other info.
E911 Support
If Timmy fell down the well (again), 911 services will have a much easier time getting to you.
99.999% Uptime Guarantee
What goes up must not necessarily come down. Like our phones.

Full Access

Supported by your own IT staff
Want your own IT people to manage your phone systems? Oh, fine. You win.
Setup within 24 hours of your order
We could do it faster, but we need to sleep at some point.
1 Static IP Address
Shockingly stable!
2GB of Memory
Look at all this room we have for apptivities!
30GB of Storage
Seriously, look at all this room!
Unlimited Bandwidth
My, look at all this BANDWIDTH we have!
25-50 Simultaneous Calls
You can talk to lots of people at once. You may not want to, but you can!
Free Setup
We wouldn’t charge you for that. We’re nice people, too. We think.
No Hidden Fees
They’re all right there for you to see!
Instantly Provisioned
Better than instant coffee, though that’s a low bar to surpass.
Upgrade at Any Time
Have you tried our espresso edition?
Unlimited User Extensions
Look at all these extensions we give!
24/7 VPS Node Monitoring
We watch terminal windows so you don’t have to.
Low Latency Hosting
Never wait…….to hear words.
Hosted in a Secure Datacenter*
*Not immune to telekinesis
30-Day Money Back Guarantee
You’ll love us, of course, but just in case you don’t, we offer this recourse.
G.729 Support
Not a lot of bandwidth? We’ve got you covered, forthwith.
Use Any SIP Trunk Provider
Loyal to one SIP provider? Not a problem.
Preconfigured Firewall
Our Wall-o-Flames 9001 keeps hackers OUT! Did we mention that it’s OVER 9000!?
Install Additional Software
It’s your server, and you want it NOW! Use it like YOU need it!
Unlimited MySQL Databases
All your database are belong to us. (Well, actually, they belong to you. Let us have our fun.)
SSH/Root Access
SSH, they might hear you! Root access lets you do exactly as you wish.
SysAdmin Pro Module
Are you only an amateur sysadmin? Change that today with SysAdmin Pro!
End-point Manager Module
Rule with an iron fist over a plethora of different devices, you dictator.

Email Service

One size fits all. Your domain, your email.
Starting at just $6.99 per account per month.

30GB of storage
Look at all this room for emails!
Use your own domain (or don't!)
We’re not about to encroach on your domain if you don’t want us to (but we’ll totally make you a new one if you need it.)
SSL support
Communications security is REALLY important, but having the same acronym as “Super Silly Lizards” is important-er.
Exchange ActiveSync Support
We’ll exchange even the most active of your syncs for industry-standard email client support.
IMAP and POP3 support
Don’t let anyone POP3 your bubble. IMAP you a route to happiness.
File sharing and collaboration
Share and work on files with other people with our incredible collaboration tools. (Or do it all yourself; there’s nothing stopping you.)
We'll Do the Migration
Moving from one email provider to another should never be a painful process. That’s why we’ve removed a pain point by performing the migration for you and testing every single account.